RELATIONSHIPS

All Articles on »RELATIONSHIPS«

What is the Tantra thing about?

Most people completely misunderstand Tantra. The misconceptions are understandable. As soon as we open the door to sexual energy, we open the door to something incredibly powerful and incredibly intense. This intensity makes it very hard to stay on the tiger. It’s...

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Fear of Going Deeper

He walked in and sat next to me. “I am scared,” - he said. “I really want a deep relationship, but I’m so scared. Once we start going deeper, I pull away and reject the woman, all because I’m so fucking scared that I will open my heart to her and then she will leave...

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Ghosting

When I was 19 I broke up with my boyfriend over an online messenger. For over a month I was moving away from him, deep down knowing that I was over him but hoping that he would just get it and I wouldn’t need to explain anything. I just wanted him to let me go and...

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Best Tantric positions for love making

I was interviewed for a popular magazine recently and they asked me to name the two best positions for Tantric sex for heterosexual couples. I offered three. There are positions that allow very deep penetration. For example, when the woman places her legs on the...

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When people don’t show up the way you want them to

Is there someone in your life who is not showing up for you in the way you’d like them to? It usually hurts a lot because it feels like that person is behaving in this way because they don’t like you enough. In fact it usually hurts like hell because somewhere deep...

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Surrendering to the mystery of existence

I once had a really profound experience through being rejected by someone I was really attracted to. I tried everything on him. All my seduction tricks. I tried being very sweet. I tried being very expressive and sexy. I tried cornering him and demanding a date. I was...

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Ask and you shall receive – “Liberation” for your ears!

My bestselling book Liberation Into Orgasm, that was published in April last year, is an invitation to go on a journey that will take you through pleasure beyond pleasure. This book is not just a bunch of nice ideas that are only good for the mind, it is an invitation...

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Why you should not demand honesty from your partner

If you are constantly wondering if your partner is hiding something, or if they are lying or cheating, it doesn’t say much about them, but it says a lot about you. Unless you are with a totally misguided person who doesn’t really want to be with you, in most cases...

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Grounded and together 

At the end of the recent class I offered to couples here in Ibiza a woman shared that after doing the practices she felt really open, deeply in love, in profound connection with her partner, and at the same time really grounded within herself. I thought: “Yes, that’s...

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What I learnt from 6 months of celibacy

It was not the kind of celibacy when you don’t have sex because there’s no one around to have sex with. It was a choice to be single and to look at myself deeply, consider my sexual pulls and seduction strategies, and observe where and how I was leaking my life force...

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Next time you are having a fight with your partner do this

What's the best idea for the times when conflict is on the horizon in your relationship? When you are triggered and know that you are tapping into a challenging territory, DON’T TALK ABOUT IT! At least talking should not be the first thing you do. Talking takes you...

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Your inner work will pay off

About this time three years ago I was in a tiny dark ground floor apartment in Lisbon: I hadn’t eaten for a few days, I was dealing with an infection, I was purging a lot of guilt and grief that my breakup had brought to the surface, I hardly left the house, I was...

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We are designed to be fucked by love

In relationships I have at times been avoidant AF. I would withdraw in the face of discomfort, incapable of communicating. I have also been anxious AF. I would demand attention and suffer because I’d never get it through my subtle or direct demands. I also have been...

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The Feminine, Trust and Sisterhood

For a long time, I couldn’t trust women. I was even scared of them. They felt so unpredictable, unreliable, unsafe... Then, about ten years ago I gathered my first women’s circle. Women of different ages, different backgrounds, different cultures came together and sat...

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Hacking jealousy

I used to consider myself a very jealous person. I also had a lot of shame about it. Wherever I would show up with my partner I would check out all the women and mark some of them with a thought of “danger”. I was constantly comparing myself to other women. And...

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Listening as a spiritual practice

No matter what you say, most people always receive your words through their own prism. If you are talking about your experience, they will be unavoidably comparing it to the experiences they’ve had. It’s coming from a beautiful place, I believe - from the place of...

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Love for the sake of loving

How can I love you from purity? How can I love you from presence? How can I love you from spaciousness? How can I love you without mixing in desire that’s boiling in my belly and burning me to ashes from within?... How can I love you without mixing in the need to be...

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How to make them want you

There are lots of strategies that you can learn to get the attention of someone you like. There are even so-called “pick up artists” that spend their entire lives mastering these kinds of tricks. You can take classes on how to become the most desirable person ever....

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When sex hurts

People commonly think that sex is all about pleasure, joy, ecstasy and orgasms. But most of us have experienced sex which was painful, sex during which we experienced burning and aching in the genitals and pelvis. Many people have also experienced sex which provoked...

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