Many people want to become a leader, to serve in the world and guide people back home… but are you ready for the package that comes with it?
Here are some of the challenges encountered by leaders:
Since you are so visible and always at the forefront, people can’t help but imagine things about you and believe that they are real. To give you an idea about projections I deal with on a regular basis:
– unprocessed MOTHER issues – people think that I don’t notice them and start feeling like I don’t give them enough attention (just the way their mother did), when I almost NEVER initiate any contact with anyone, even with my closest friends. That’s just not how my personality functions.
– SEX QUEEN/GODDESS (what does the word Goddess even mean these days?) – people think that because I carry little shame it must mean that I’m having sex all the time, possibly in orgy format. Very funny and incredibly far from reality.
– SEDUCTRESS – people think that I do things to seduce people. When I’m just speaking about sex, because of the nature of my work.
– NARCISSISM – If there is nothing else you can be blamed for, you automatically become a “full of yourself narcissist”.
In reality all the projections and judgements by other people represent nothing but an inability to hold their own light and step up.
To be honest, feeling the projections (and the unexpressed ones are even heavier than the expressed ones) is the most exhausting thing.
2. When people see your human imperfections they stop trusting you as a teacher. Haha! Biggie! If you dare to be a leader you are expected to be nothing less than PERFECT. You are expected to fit into the idea of what a “good” or “evolved” person should be. You are expected to be disciplined, not harm others, be a vegan, not use plastic, put others first etc. While these are good ideals, being a leader means you might have to disappoint lots of people. Because true leaders do not adjust to those nice ideals and are in fact driven by their vision and not by societally acceptable norms.
3. Being questioned: “who are you to be called a TEACHER?!” Especially if you are not plastering your credentials all over the place. The world of ego has little appreciation for humility.
4. Immense RESPONSIBILITY and BEING ON TOP OF ALL THINGS. Even when one of your team members fucks up, in the end, you are the one responsible. You have to have your awareness spread really wide to hold on to each and every little thing.
5. Making FINANCIAL decisions which also get questioned: Being questioned re why you CHARGE what you charge for your work. Some will say you overcharge – others that you undercharge.
6. Being ATTACKED. Boom. That one can get nasty. If very opinionated people don’t agree with you, they may become vicious! To various degrees. Some of the purest spiritual leaders I know have suffered from major persecution and threats. Usually it’s nothing but concealed envy.
7. Many people stop behaving around you like they would around *NORMAL* people. Some try to get validation. Others do their best to show how unimpressed they are by you.
8. You must have unwavering TRUST. A superhuman type of trust.
9. Not taking ANYTHING personally. Neither success, nor failure. Neither praise, nor criticism. If you are a true leader, none of it is yours. True service is free from ego.
What does it mean to “not take things personally”? That’s not an easy thing.
In fact, it requires being free from your own personality. Because it is the personality that wants validation. And it’s the personality that’s scared of criticism.
Although I am not perfect, the only way I can let myself be so visible is when I remove my self as the doer. I have no attachment to any gratification I may get. Criticism is unpleasant, but I cannot afford to be affected by it.
I am focused on that which matters to me beyond anything. My personality will never be perfect. But my commitment to my True Self is total. And it is the same as the commitment to the Love that I am serving.
I cannot compromise it through the discomfort I feel when I am being misunderstood and criticized. My personality is extremely sensitive. A lot more than what it may look like. I do tend to withdraw when I feel hurt.
Yet, even this leaves me unaffected.
Instead, I surrender to the way that my Higher Self wants to move and I trust that all is guided by Truth.
Being a true Leader means being radical. Being radically committed. Taking radical ownership of your Life. Knowing that this Life is Service. There is no more space for victimhood. There is no one left to blame for any discomfort you might feel. Being a Leader you cannot be subject to restrictions. Being a true Leader means being truly unapologetically You.
And last but not least, if you want to be a Leader – don’t try to copy anyone’s leadership style.
There are many ways to lead.
Some lead in a very subtle way, they lead but no one knows their names. They lead by seeing others. They lead by subtly offering direction.
There will always be people who won’t approve of what you do. Even if it’s something that looks very noble, like donating all your money to a charity.
Find your own way and be the Leader of your Life.