My heart breaks into a million pieces every time I feel the immensity of what’s really going on…
I find myself allowing… I allow it willingly because the substance made of star dust is filling up the cracks.
I surrender into this love.
I allow myself to dive right in.
With my full body, my full heart, my full spirit.
I let this love possess me, overtake me, make me no one.
I’ve let go of all constructs of how I should be.
I’m giving myself totally, over and over again.
I’ve let the Beloved disarm me.
And completely naked, I surrender in front of the magic that is Him.
To the mind, the idea of surrender sounds really weird.
Even silly. Even scary.
The voices in my head are freaking out: “Girl you outa your mind!”
The mind… is trying hard to understand: “What are you doing, it’s crazy to open up that much, you’ve become way way way too vulnerable, what if he simply uses you, what if he drops you, what if you fall and lose yourself and are left alone smashed in the ruins of your own heart?!”
I acknowledge all of it with compassion.
Poor little mind will never understand what surrender really is. Poor little ego is very good at creating walls of protection but incapable of love. And what is that protection anyway? Trying so hard to protect a tiny little soft heart that’s so scared to feel! This protection is so fake, it could be smashed with a little finger.
There is no greater safety than being wrapped in the arms of divinity.
The mind is all about setting up boundaries, claiming our territory.
But surrender is a word from another realm. From the realm of the heart.
We can work around explaining surrender, and we can understand the beauty of the concept. Yet it is something that can only be experienced in the heart.
Everyone is afraid of melting. Of losing ourselves.
But in fact, surrender is the only way to find ourselves. The only parts of us that can burn away are the false ones.
The paradox is that the deeper we surrender, the stronger we become.
We melt into a completely different view of ourselves, and with a lot of love that can defeat anything.
It does sound beautiful, Sofia. But how on Earth can you really do it? You must be enlightened or something.
No. You must be willing to love.
This is all it takes. We can let love be our teacher, our guide. We can choose love as our path. And this is what we are surrendering to. In surrender, we are always surrendering to love. And love… is but another name for God.
This path is not for everyone, though. Only the courageous ones can walk it. It is not always going to be a pleasant ride. Sometimes you will be pretty devastated. Sometimes your own mind will send you terrible demons. Sometimes you will want to close off and disconnect from all feelings.
And then, you will remember… millennia of disconnect. Millennia of a world ruled by the mind.
And you will see that you don’t know what is right and what is wrong. But you have felt your heart. You have felt love… even if only a tiny little bit. And from this point… there is no longer any other option.
It is a one-way road.
It is really the most glorious path. The path of love.
So few are really capable of love.
Most people are stuck in blame, in expectations, in projections, in a sense of entitlement.
And in fact, we all need to go through a phase of claiming our individuality. There comes a time when the wild one wakes up within and says: “No-one can ever tell me what to do!” It is a time of claiming our space, of rebelling against patriarchy in all its different manifestations.
And yet… At some point, we realize that we have to drop deeper than that. We realize that love is what we all are really longing for.
And when you are choosing to pour your love into someone, to surrender deeply into love… you are changing the world.
It does not mean that you become blind and put the other person on a pedestal, as if their personality was perfect. Oh no, surrendering to love requires an enormous amount of clarity.
It is only from clarity that we can choose something as radical as love.
And from that clarity you see the games that your mind wants to play, all the ways in which you are pushing away the love, all the ways in which your mind is looking for (and finding!) flaws in the other, all the ways in which you want to feel your own importance and punish the other person for their “wrongdoings”… You see all of it… and consciously choose not to follow any of them. Instead… you let yourself crack. And you feel. And nothing is too much for you to feel.
It is only the mind that’s scared of being overwhelmed.
And not for nothing!
The mind gets overwhelmed easily.
And the mind… is not capable of love.
It’s only something deeper in us that has this capacity.
It is only something so deep, all the way down to our soul.
That place… yes.. that place knows how to love.
I have discovered a sacred assignment.
My assignment is to love you.
To love you so deeply I cannot hear the rants of my mind.
To love you so deeply I act with absolute certainty, though I may not have the slightest idea what I
will do next.
I know nothing but the deep certainty of love, and how it wants to be expressed in this present moment.
In this surrender… I allow everything to arise, and I feel into its depth. I open as everything. I open as the entire cosmos.
And from here I begin my holy work.