It is possible for each and every human being to have an orgasm with the whole body.
This kind of orgasm is also called tantric orgasm, multi orgasm, or energetic orgasm.
It is called energetic orgasm, because it is actually happening in your energetic body, which surrounds and permeates the body that you see every day in the mirror – the physical body.
Through energetic orgasms our energetic body becomes alive and therefore a much larger capacity for life opens up to us.
Essentially this is the body of life.
And life is pure energy.
Shakti – the Sanskrit word used in tantra to speak about the power, the feminine, the Goddess or Life, essentially means “energy”.
The more we are tapping into our own energy, the more we are tapping into life.
There is a very big belief, especially speaking about women, that it is our partners who give us orgasms.
And although we can learn terrific skills for love making, the idea that it is our partner who is responsible for our orgasm needs to shift, because it is a very disempowering belief.
A belief that comes from patriarchy. From the mindsets that are diminishing for us.
And we don’t have time to be disempowered.
Actually a partner can open us up only to the degree that we are already open. And the masterful partner is the one who is capable of holding space for that opening to reveal itself.
“Ok, but how?”, – you may be wondering.
How do we get there?
There are three keys :
1. Breathe deeper.
There exist many different breathing techniques, yet what is very simple and powerful is to just elongate the breath. Try inhaling and exhaling for 4 counts.
Breath is a great way to activate your life force.
Relax your jaw and breathe through your mouth.
With every inhalation soften your body more and with every exhalation relax deeper and let go.
2. Unclench the body and allow movement.
Habitually most of us are tense, clenched and disconnected from our body. To a degree or another. So take a moment now to feel where there is tension in your body. Where do you clench your body due to habit?
And now do the opposite – unclench.
Give space to your belly, as you inhale bring your attention to your genitals, and direct energy there.
We are taught to suck the belly in, but here I invite you to drop into your body, drop deeper and deeper through a “yes”, through a continuous relaxation, through softening , saying yes to your belly and to all of life. This is something you can do moment by moment, all day.
And I encourage you to especially remember to do it during your sensual play or love making.
Open to all sensations, allow them to really touch you, fully experience what’s happening, keep dropping in, keep breathing deeply.
And of course, this is only possible through presence. You cannot do any of that if your mind is busy with your to do list, or some other obsessive thoughts.
The orgasm is not going to happen if you are not there.
You are the one responsible for your life. You are the one responsible for your experience. You are the one responsible for your pleasure. You are the one who is in charge. And you are the one who has to be present, to facilitate the background for orgasm to unfold.
Dropping in, opening, allowing.
See how you can make love with all of your body.
See how you can experience pleasure in all of your body, offering it to pleasure, surrendering it.
Even now, wherever you are, you can soften some more, liberate the spine, breath a little deeper, drop into the pleasure that is already there.
Just feeling your feet on the earth, bum on the chair or air touching your skin can be orgasmic.
Even as we are breathing it is highly sensual – we are making love – we are allowing the breath to enter us.
Life is highly sensual, highly erotic. And only layers of shame disconnect us from it. In fact these things are natural, they are real, they are accessible to each and every person.
3. Third essential key for full body orgasm is trust.
In order to orgasm you need to trust. You need to open to life. You need to surrender.
And even though it may sound very blunt and even scary, this is the truth:
to have big orgasms we need to go to those places which may look very scary to the mind.
There is nothing scary about those places for your being, though, for the life that you are.
Because orgasm is a manifestation of life in its depth. And actually fear is a good sign. It means we are getting out of the comfort zone. It means we are onto something that stretches us, something good.
So see how you can make yourself available to that. How you can drop your guard.
We tend to have a protective shield. Because the fear says: “Oh my god, but if I open so much, and then this person leaves me…”
And even when it looks like you are opening to the person, you are always opening to the God within that person.
So shift your perspective and open up.
Because every time we choose to open, we are making ourselves more accessible to love.
And yes you might feel hurt and you may experience uncomfortable emotions. But all these things pale in comparison to what happens to your being each time you choose to open.
My book “Liberation into Orgasm” is going to be available soon!
Stay tuned to get it and dive deeper into your expanded orgasmic life.