Have you ever felt that you need to be taken now and that’s the only thing that matters?
Have you ever felt that you are addicted to sex, and you only want more and more of this sweet medicine?
Have you ever felt trembling in your womb that feels like an erupting vulcano?
Have you ever felt your yoni yearning to be filled?..
Have you ever felt the depth of all that?
Have you ever felt the depth of your sexual desire?
We all live in a world where sexuality is generally not accepted. There is a lot of conditioning that makes many people believe that sexuality is dirty, and we all carry a degree of shame around it.
For me it was almost shocking to realize recently that even after years of expanding and taking ownership of my sexuality, I still could find some good old shame there.
This feeling of shame normally comes in a package with our childhood. To give you an example: for children it’s completely normal at some point to take an interest in the genitals and often they get shamed for that. Others develop wounds around the time of puberty or their first sexual experience.
Eve Ensler in her book Vaginal Monologues shares a story of an old woman who at a younger age was making out with a boy and got so aroused, that her juices started flowing abundantly. The boy had no clue about what was happening and told her off, saying that she was a “stinky weird girl”. This ignorance resulted in a massive traumatic experience for that woman and from that time she never dared not only engage with men but even touch or think about her vagina.
How insane is that?
Such abundant lubrication and Amrita of a woman is a profound gift. It is actually a mystical experience for her and it shows how sexually open she is.
But we would make a mistake if we were to blame the boy. The boy had no clue and lots of shame just like 95% of people on this planet.
Maybe you have felt that dense deep sexual energy, sometimes it may feel heavy like a weight at the level of your base chakra, other times – like a bubbling champagne that spreads all the way along your spine and perhaps throughout the entire body.
Maybe it has been disturbing at times – say you need to work or study, but all you can think of is sex.
Maybe you felt it is a problem and it is not spiritual to feel horny all the time.
Well, let me tell you something.
If you can relate to anything that you read above, you are blessed.
You are blessed because you have experienced your sexual energy, meaning it is not blocked or not entirely blocked.
Because everyone has it, but very little approve of it.
And this sexual energy is a gift.
This sexual energy is the energy of life itself.
And it is deeply spiritual.
It is my experience and observation that only sexually open people are able to experience deep levels of devotion, of yearning for the divine.
And if there is a reason for our feeling of separation from God, the feeling of this intense fiery devotion and love is the most beautiful one.
To be able to love and to be devotional our energetic body needs to be awakened. We need to know what erotic feels like, what it feels like to desire deeply, to be sexual, to be in the body. We need to know what it feels like to be fully alive.
And mind you: our sexuality is not dependent on whether we are in a relationship or not, or whether we have sex or not. An erotically awake person can always be sexual, it does not depend on the external circumstances.
Now, sometimes it happens that very sexual people may feel a lack of libido. It has definitely happened to me. Here it boils down to something very simple: a choice.
It is up to us if we want to feel alive or numb. If we want to feel erotically alive or heady.
It’s true that some might need to do more work to get there than others.
But here is some great news for you – it’s really not that difficult, because it is our natural state.
And again first of all it is choice.
It’s a choice to keep holding onto the shame and the wounds of our past, it is a choice to be stuck in our judgement and envy of other people’s sexual expression. Normally these two are closely interlinked.
Sometimes we are also conditioned to feel guilty about our desire, but this only happens because we don’t see it as sacred.
We haven’t really felt the very depth of it.
When you feel sexual desire try sitting with it, close your eyes and feel it in your body… It may start off with a fantasy or just the anticipation of something yummy that’s going to happen… Stay focused on it, feel into it, where in your body can you feel this wanting? Stay with it… There might be a need to be fulfilled… Feel deeper…
Feel even deeper until you reach all the way to your most profound longing.
This longing is pure. This longing is what powers all manifestation. This longing is for the divine. And it’s sacred.
When we feel so deeply we are empowered.
Empowered to live fully, to shine bright, to enjoy life, and to inspire everyone around us.
Owning our sexuality expands us like nothing else.
Owning our sexuality is the game changer.
And there can never be too much of a good thing… ;)
And here is a bonus exercise for you. It will help you go deep into your sexual energy and explore it. Enjoy! And please share in the comments what you discover, I’d love to hear from you.