Many of us experienced falling in love with a pop star or someone famous when we were younger. Many are mysteriously drawn to those men or women who are married. Sometimes we fall in love with a person who for some specific reasons is not available to be there for us emotionally, spiritually, sexually or even simply physically.
I think this is so complex and fascinating.
I see at least a few possible scenarios and hence, reasons, for this.
1. Confusion, disconnection from ourselves.
“What am I actually attracted to?“
2. This is similar to the first point, just with a slightly different angle.
actually has those qualities within.
3. What if unavailable people are not unavailable? What if they are who they are, living their life, focused on their thing?… And what if there is a certain intelligence behind who we choose to be attracted to?
*I don’t need anything from anyone in order to love*
4. Beyond all of the above I believe that it is our Soul’s choice to be drawn to unavailable people in certain phases of our lives.
Feeling the core of this pain is not about bypassing emotions, quite the opposite in fact.
Each time I have arrived there it’s been through a very painful process of agony. And many hours of tears… but each time I arrived on the other side I have been grateful for my courage to actually sit in the pain.
Paradoxically, the more we allow ourselves to feel the pain of the root of all separation, the more whole we become.
Photo by Victor Gifoni