“You make me happy” – some of the most dangerous words anyone can say.
When you see someone you love and your whole being lights up…. your face softens automatically and you feel so happy to have their arms around you. All you want is this, and more of this…
Then, when they are not around – you are not that happy. If you argue about something or they don’t return your calls… this makes you unhappy.
Basically you have done it again: you have made someone else responsible for your own happiness.
And that’s a very heavy burden to bear.
I’ve been at both ends of the spectrum.
I’ve seen that look in someone’s eyes where they give themselves to me with such abandon… which may seem pleasing at first, even empowering… for the ego. You really feel HOW MUCH you mean to this person.
But very soon you start to feel trapped. Because when you’re not around and are just living your life, they suffer.
You may love this person deeply, but you are not willing to be the reason for their happiness.
Because if you’re the reason for their happiness, you will inevitably become the cause of their unhappiness.
I have been on the other side too. I can remember this taste. It tastes like happiness. But as soon as I link my happiness with someone else… I’m hooked.
So instead of saying “You make me happy”, say “I love you very much, I am happy you came into my life, I am grateful that just by being you, you help me open my heart in a new way and meet new parts of myself. I am grateful that through your touch I recognise the divine touch, and that through your beauty I can see the beauty of God. This brings me closer to myself, because I recognise that God is all around me. And I am so happy to be alive.”
It’s beautiful to offer yourself, to open fully, to have no borders, no doubts, no hesitations… but it shouldn’t be before the other person, it should be before Life.
Live your life as a prayer, as an offering, let others be touched by your openness. Let this openness be your path. But catch yourself when you are delegating your well-being to someone else. This will only lead you to a dead end.