It is easier to admire the idea of someone, rather than a real person who is standing right in front of you.
People tend to idealise leaders that they resonate with. It’s natural for generations that were brought up on stories about the good princes and princesses. We only see the light side, oblivious to the fact that everyone has the dark too.
Some saints are known to have lost their temper and yelled at people.
We all have blind spots. We all have the dark side. We all make mistakes.
If these mistakes are made repeatedly, a closer look is necessary.
If people are willing to learn and integrate the darkness/own it – they are not stupid, dangerous or immature. They are human.
The moment you put someone up on a pedestal you are putting them down.
Then, when they reveal their imperfect humanness you will be the one to get hit by that pedestal. It will hurt, you will feel betrayed, you won’t understand how someone you’ve given so much trust to could end up disappointing you so badly.
I personally have been put down in the ugliest way by people who were the loudest at praising me.
And here’s the thing:
I’m not a goddess.
I’m not a conscious mother you never had.
I’m not a perfect prince on a white horse who will save you from your madness either.
I’m not even a very nice person!
Many times I’m not going to behave the way you expect me to. Some things I do or say will not resonate with you.
I don’t think we need role models. I’m not interested in being one.
I think we need authentic people who show us how to rise. And how to not be scared to fall.
Because they’ve fallen and risen and fallen again.
And guess what – they’ve risen again.
I find it repellant when I feel someone is idealising me. It’s no compliment.
I don’t need anyone’s praise, unless it’s coming from a clear and grounded place.
I don’t need anyone’s criticism either, unless it’s coming from a clear and grounded place.
I’m just doing what I came here to do.
If you want to come with me, you are most welcome.
But I’m going anyway.
Photo by Jodie DS
P.S. – If you have done any work with me in the past, I invite you to join us for the Leadership Training this July in Spain.