March 16, 2015

“Is it possible to be successful at work and feminine at the same time?” – A question that I often hear from women that I coach.
What a great question.
You might be dancing, spending time with your sisters, exploring the feminine polarity in your relationship, being conscious about your Moon cycle, and unleashing your Shakti in many other ways, but when it comes to work you find yourself getting tense, pushy and stressed out.
Does it sound familiar? Then keep reading.

What is feminine and what is masculine?

It can take me a whole day of a workshop to really explain it, but in a nutshell:
Feminine energy is yin, receptive, flowing, yielding, it is focused on being rather than doing, or put another way, “doing without doing”.
Masculine energy is yang, emissive, active, fast, fiery, goal-oriented and focused. It is active and it is doing.
One is not better than the other, we all have both of them and they both are very important for our lives as well as for our success.

How would you describe the key qualities of a powerful leader?

You would probably say something like decisive, strong, focused, analytical, driven…
But all of these are uniquely masculine qualities! Masculine leadership is powerful when it comes to taking action or creating a result when it comes to logical or analytical pursuits.
I see that many successful women operate in primarily masculine ways. And they end up being so focused on that specific end result that they forget about relaxing, enjoying and having fun. They forget about connecting to their loved ones and being present with them. And in the end they feel stressed out and drained both physically and energetically.
But it’s not the only way!
There is another more trusting, more relaxed, more attractive, more faith-based, more grounded way to operate.

What is feminine leadership then?

Feminine leadership embraces emotion, it uses it to promote understanding, build consensus. It has to do with empowering and supporting others. It’s about working together and connecting.
Feminine leadership is focused less on the end result, and more on the process, less on doing, more on receiving. As feminine leaders we put our desires out there and trust that when we move in the direction of joy, ease, peace, harmony, and love, the Universe will provide everything we need.
Along the feminine way to success we set goals but release attachment to outcomes, we surrender to what wants to happen, rather than pushing for what we will to happen.

The feminine way isn’t hard – it is soft. But it’s definitely not easy. You will have to manage the anxiety that comes with not pushing and overworking.
The feminine way to success takes faith. You can never make it to success if you don’t trust it’s the right way.
It also takes following your heart’s desire and moving in the direction of your joy.

I have to tell you that like most people I definitely have a tendency to fall into a purely masculine way of operating when it comes to work. For example, at times in my life I have found myself in a completely messy room with piles of dirty plates and cups around me or having forgotten to eat all day, because all I was thinking of was my goal and doing-doing-doing everything I could think of to achieve my goal. And I would definitely get there. But at a very high price of forgetting my aliveness, my joy, my love and my relaxation.

Let me tell you something – I’m not doing it anymore!
Like I said, this masculine way of operating in the world can be highly effective. Ambition and hard work can serve you quite well. But the problem with acting in this masculine way, unbalanced by the feminine, is that by working so hard you exhaust yourself. You run the risk of getting sick because of the imbalance and fatigue that it inevitably brings.

And you also fail to leave room for mystery, for the Universe to perform its magic, for the creation of something even greater than what you were trying to create…
So the mastery is in finding your own unique way of balancing between the masculine and the feminine qualities. Balancing between ambition and trust, giving and receiving, being decisive and enjoying, taking action and relaxing…

One great healthy habit to have during a work day is taking frequent delicious breaks to connect with your body, your sensuality and people around you. I love my breaks.

Liberate yourself

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