There are many women who think that their libido is very low, but in most cases it is just the result of trying to have sex in a masculine way. 

Most of these women are trying to get into penetrative sex before they are fully aroused. 

Generally speaking, the male arousal is a yang type of arousal. And the female arousal is a yin type of arousal. 

It means that masculine sexual energy is like fire, it ignites in the centre (the penis) and after that spreads out.

And the feminine sexual energy is like water – it is collected from the edges, the limbs, from the heart and flows to the centre (the vagina).

Men’s lingam can be touched without much foreplay. It is actually very nice to connect with the lingam first and then continue by spreading the pleasure and activating his chest, belly and limbs.

In the case of women the yin energy proceeds from the edges, gradually moving inward and flowing downward towards the sex centre. The yin energy needs to pass through the heart centre before it descends lower.

That’s why women find it generally harder to separate sex from love. 

Most women need to feel connected and safe, they need to feel their heart open before they can open up sexually. 

Which is not always the case for men. They can have sex with someone without much of an emotional or heart connection.

Yoni and heart are similar — neither can be forced to open. You can’t force yourself to fall in love, and you can’t open your body by force.

So naturally it means that women take longer than men to get aroused. But once you heat the water up it can stay hot for a long time.

Also the more frequently you bring feminine erotic energy to the boil, the easier it will be to get activated the next day. 

If you touch the yoni too soon – she will contract, freeze and close up.

But this is important to know not only to honour the feminine, this is equally important for the masculine.

We need to understand that sex is not about his/her pleasure, it is about cultivating something that is beyond him or her, that is more than the sum of its parts… A field, that we can expand into together, and become infinitely vast.

The erotic energy flows more naturally through someone who is deeply in touch with the feminine, which is often times women. And therefore when the woman is fully aroused, once her entire body is loved and worshipped, she will open her yoni, she will be fully orgasmic, and she will share the nectar of the depth of her being with her partner. When the entire system is activated women can access amazing arousal states and discover their deep erotic nature. Then the masculine partner will be able to ride her waves of pleasure and expand into the magnetic field of their union.

So… the deeper he goes, the deeper she opens… it affects both.

Dear men, please don’t rush your woman into penetration.

It does take presence and patience from you. If you offer her and her arousal plenty of time, it will come back to you tenfold.

Dear women, please learn to listen to your body and communicate your needs.

By only going half way, by not honouring the degree of your openness, you are stealing from both of you. Because if you go into penetration before you are actually ready, neither you nor he will have the opportunity to experience the real depth of what sexuality is.

To sum up:

  1. Male sexual energy is like fire, it is ignited in the center (the penis) and after that spreads out.
  2. Female sexual energy is like water – it is collected from the edges, the limbs, from the heart and flows to the center (the vagina).
  3. If a woman’s heart is soft and open, her yoni will be soft and open. But none of those can be opened by force.
  4. The key to opening a woman’s heart is to make sure her whole body is loved and worshipped.
  5. The lingam (penis) can be touched without much foreplay. It is actually very nice to connect with the lingam first and then continue by spreading the pleasure and activating his chest, belly and limbs. This will facilitate full body orgasms for the man.
  6. The deeper a woman’s arousal and, therefore, orgasms are, the deeper a man’s orgasms are, and the more potential there is to enter into the infinite depth of the mystical union.

 

To receive clear authentic guidance on how you can experience sacred sexuality in your life join my  online course Tantra: Your Initiation into Sacred Sexuality

Art by @ellysmallwood 

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