Podcast episode

Healing attachment wounds

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#5 In this episode I am speaking with my first guest – a brilliant trauma therapist Prema McKeever.

We speak about developmental trauma which is trauma from childhood that shows up in adult intimate relationships. Even if you don’t think you have trauma I highly encourage you to listen to this episode – I also never considered myself traumatised… Until I developed enough resilience to look a lot deeper.

If you see your trauma it doesn’t mean you are broken, it is not an excuse to stay in your patterns. If you see your trauma it means you can shift it. An intimate relationship can be an incredible support for that!

As children, we are not able to identify things as traumatic. We simply have no other choice but to accept things as they are. We develop coping mechanisms (the most common of those is freeze – read numbness) and live our lives to the best of our ability. Subconsciously we have a lot of beliefs internalised as a result of those traumatic experiences and these beliefs create our reality.⠀

Only when we grow up and develop our consciousness enough to be able to bear the pain of feeling the depth of all the wounds that happened in our childhood, we can identify things as traumatic. ⠀
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The amount of heavy stuff that I experienced as a child and later on, plus an incredible darkness that’s been held in my ancestral lineage… all this could be a prescription for a horrendous life. ⠀

 However, I am looking at my life in wonder. I managed to create an exquisite life. This life is full of Grace. ⠀

Despite all the darkness that I lived in for the major part of my life, here’s what I know.⠀

I know that Light is much more powerful than darkness. ⠀
Because of Light everything else even exists. ⠀
It’s the Light that allows us to see the darkness itself and everything else. ⠀
If we dare to stay connected to our hearts even when everything around us seems to be inviting us to harden, we let the Light in.⠀
When we let the Light in we become available for the support of Angels and other Beings of Light.⠀

They are all around us, they are really willing to help. We just need to turn up and ask.⠀

Ask for help. Whatever is going on for you. Open your arms, turn your face upwards towards the sky and ask for help.⠀

It works.⠀Prema has such a wealth of wisdom, I am so excited to share her work with you!

Prema’s work:

Prema McKeever is a somatic therapist and workshop facilitator who specializes in healing the effects of trauma so people can live healthier, more authentic, and passion-filled lives. She is trained in Somatic Experiencing, Biodynamic Breathwork & Trauma Release, and many other emotional and trauma healing modalities. You can find out more about her and the groups she offers at SacredInquiry.com

Her upcoming events:
sacredinquiry.com/events-gatherings

In this episode I cover:

  • Welcome Prema McKeever (0:48)
  • How your relationships have changed since your work on trauma? (3:42)
  • We need to identify that there is actually a trauma (6:35)
  • How can people recognize that they have a trauma (7:49)
  • Developmental trauma & Attachemnt theories (8:49)
  • What are the truma symptoms or signs? (13:10)
  • The patterns we see in our lives (14:15)
  • The abandonmnet wound (17:25)
  • The importance of repairing (18:55)
  • Attachment theory (21:40)
  • Our attachments patterns are formed in the first 3 years of our lives (32:35)
  • Approcaching the trauma has to be done bit by bit (35:11)
  • When Sofia hit a really big traumatic point inside of her (36:19)
  • The container in the Work (37:52)
  • How can we create healing and safety in our relationship? (39:39)
  • Being valnurable is a nig risk (41:27)
  • Freeze! (46:54)
  • Is “freeze” similar to shame? (48:28)
  • Is there an opportunity for anxious – avoidant combo to come to a secure place? (50:37)
  • Prama’s upcoming events and work (52:47)
  • Healing is always possible! (54:48)

Episode resources: 

Thank you so much for listening. I feel happy to know that you are here and would be SO grateful if you could leave me a review on Apple podcasts, that way we can inspire, educate and transform the lives of even more people together.

artwork by Muhammed Salah

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