May 29, 2020

So, here’s something that every man is destined to experience at least once in his life: your wand of light is not getting hard. ⠀

It may feel incredibly frustrating. It may make you feel inadequate. It may cause you to shut down and not want to even think about sex.⠀

Let’s go straight to the point: ⠀

Why does it happen and what to do?⠀
Unless you have direct physical trauma, the reason is always psychological. ⠀

1. Pornography: Desensitization.

Porn addiction “hijacks” the dopamine receptors in your brain, making you crave more and more stimulation. If you regularly consume porn you will start seeking more ‘novel’ content, inevitably falling down a rabbit hole in which you need more and more stimulation and normal sexual interaction doesn’t turn you on because you’ve become desensitized. As a result of regular porn consumption, your brain becomes accustomed to getting stimulated at the sight of intense pornographic images. So, an ordinary encounter will cause a diminished level of arousal (if any).

What to do? Go on a no porn diet. Men report incredible results. Make a commitment to yourself to go without porn for 21 days. That’s how long it takes for the brain to form a new habit. After 21 days assess and see if you need it at all. Notice how you feel before and after watching porn. Decide for yourself if it’s really supporting you or if it is draining you. Also notice how is it affecting your mood.⠀

Bring sensation back: start practicing sexual yoga for men. It includes massaging your testicles and the lingam in various ways (you’ll be surprised!), as well as playing with various sensations. This stuff will change your life. I teach it in my Activated Man online course. These practices plus ice-cold baths, regular exercise and the right natural supplements work on boosting your vitality and natural production of testosterone.

2. Lack of trust in the relationship, on either side.

If your woman is mothering you, not respecting and not trusting you, it will affect you and may make you feel not man enough hence your lingam will not want to show up. ⠀

You need to notice and address it: create a contained space to speak about it and express what you need from her to be able to show up more fully for her, and hence – for yourself.⠀

Think about what makes you feel like a man and whether you are doing it? ⠀

Do you have space in your relationship to make decisions and offer direction? ⠀
What else helps you feel firm and solid within yourself? ⠀

You are sensitive to your woman’s sensitivity. ⠀

If she is not really open, her yoni won’t be really open, hence she won’t magnetically invite and draw in the lingam. Hence… he won’t get hard. ⠀

Yes, it really works that way.⠀

What to do? ⠀

Many men know that sometimes when they are with a woman for the first or second time they may not get hard. It may feel uncomfortable because that’s exactly when you want to impress the girl! However, it’s not bad at all: the body is telling you that it’s not a machine that functions on demand but rather an intelligence that responds to what is. It’s saying: “first get vulnerable with each other, open your hearts to each other, cultivate some trust, then the sexy vibes will turn on naturally and will come from a deeper and more authentic place”.⠀

Unaddressed and/or unresolved resentment in a relationship. ⠀

Either in your current relationship or in your relationship with the Feminine (aka Mother Wound). ⠀

To resolve it you again need to create a safe space to address it, process it and grow through it. And rejoice in renewed and upgraded sex drive!⠀

I know it’s easier said than done, but there’s no way around it. ⠀

3. Disconnection from your cock, your sexual power and your purpose and direction in life ⠀

The lack of healthy sexual education does not encourage men to really connect with their cocks. You may have heard things like: “Don’t think with your cock”. ⠀
Thinking with your cock is beautiful. Because it means you are present in your body, and when you are present in your body you are in tune with your heart. ⠀

Our sexuality is pure. The mind is not. ⠀

So the deeper we open in our healthy sexuality the deeper we open to love. ⠀

The best and most direct way there is to anchor in your manly power is to perform sexual yoga. It involves massaging, stretching and energetically activating your cock and testicles. Just like men learn in my online course Activated Man. ⠀

– Another thing ( just when you thought that it’s as weird as it gets – get ready for Sundari spice here)⠀

🕸️ Anal activation

Through regular anal activation you work on the level of your base chakra, hence – your basic fears and mistrust, which will be reflected in your sexual performance and will keep you stuck in life. When you feel stuck in life, you will feel stuck in sex. ⠀

You also activate your prostate which has incredible pleasure potential. ⠀


4. It is just not right for him to get hard. If the reasons above don’t fit, it’s this one. Your cock has an intelligence, it is the intelligence of the body. ⠀

Here is something that might surprise you: hardness is not required to make love. Yes, you can make incredible deep beautiful love while being totally soft. ⠀

No matter what is the reason for lack of erection, it is your cock telling you that you cannot ignore life any longer. Your body is telling you that you have to awaken to the vibrating presence of every moment of Life. That’s where you find your Purpose. ⠀

Liberate yourself

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