January 22, 2016

I have just emerged out of a month long tantric intimacy and sexuality retreat that I did with a lover.

We actually didn’t plan it to be such an intensive immersion, we just agreed to meet and hang out for a few weeks together in Ibiza. But then we found ourselves in a house, kind of a little isolated, with a shop nearby, a car, the desire to dive deep into tantra together and a month of time. We both have a lot of experience in sacred sexuality and are tantra teachers, so the most natural thing that emerged for us was a full power tantric retreat aimed at sexual exploration as well as boosting each other’s tantric and teaching potential.

It would be awesome to do something like this if you are in a relationship and you want to deepen it. In this most recent case — we are not in a relationship, we are lovers, and we took it as an experiment and a deep exploration of our individual potentials and also to explore what would happen once we united our energies.

A few years back I did a similar retreat while I was in a relationship and it was profound too.

The purpose of an intimacy retreat will differ depending on what you want to bring into your life. A beautiful intention is to just dive deep into sexuality and intimacy, try things that you never have time or persistence to try, and really liberate your sexual being. In this case the longer you are in the retreat the more your sexual energy will get activated and awakened. And therefore – your whole energy body will become more and more radiant and strong.

Ok, one month was kind of extreme. But as an extreme person, I sort of have a tendency to go for extreme things. Lol.

But you can take just three days. If that’s all you have, it is great! 5 or 7 days will be even better. All depends on your personal circumstances and preference.

I wouldn’t recommend going for less than a 3 day retreat though.

Is it going to be challenging?

Oh yeah!

To be honest in my case I really wanted to run away about half way through and also at the very end…

But we persevered! and I’m really proud of it.

Why do challenges come?

Well, being next to someone we call in transformation, we are offered a mirror, we are offered a challenger, someone who will inevitably push our buttons. And that’s how we grow, and fast. 

So if you want to embark on a retreat together with a partner or lover, expect the challenges! And rejoice when they come!

Practice should be the foundation of your retreat. It may involve doing partner yoga, your own intimacy exercises, massage and lovemaking.

Here are some suggestions for you, follow them to make the most out of your time together. Discuss all of it together and start with a lot of clarity. Clarity between the two of you is very important, so you both know what you are getting into.

  1. Set up a time frame: how long you want your retreat to be, or how much time you can realistically focus on it.
  2. Set up an intention for the retreat. What is the most that can happen in the time you have?
  3. Agree that whatever interactions you are going to have outside of retreat, you are going to use them to enrich the space the two of you are creating, not vice versa. You don’t want to leak out the energy you are cultivating in your retreat.
  4. Agree on how much computer work and internet time you are going to have per day.
  5. Have at least 4 hours of practice together per day. 6 is even better.
  6. After the morning practice or during breakfast have 5 minutes of sharing time for each. Here you have the space to share whatever is on your heart and mind.
  7. Before going to bed have 5 minutes of gratitude time – share what you are grateful for each day. Make the focus on expressing gratitude to your partner specifically.
  8. Don’t avoid emotions, but cut down on drama – otherwise it will exhaust you.
  9. Create sacred space together.
  10. Make sure you eat good vital food. Grounding and maintaining the immune system are important when we work a lot with sexual energy.

I hope this inspires you to organize your own intimacy and sexuality retreat with your beloved. It is a really special experience. Let me know if you want some suggestions on practices, set up and practicalities – I am happy to offer you guidance, coaching and share my experience.


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