The perfectly fitting partner and the choice to love

In reality you will always find something about your partner that could have been better. Always. Most people keep searching for a better partner. A perfectly fitting partner… Of course we have values and we want someone who ticks the boxes. But that’s an automatic process. We attract on the outside that which reflects what we have on the inside. You don’t even need to pick or strategize. Your resonance attracts those that you are ready for.
But let’s face it, the search is for someone who triggers fewer of our wounds. Whose presence is comforting.
And you will keep finding him or her.
Again and again.
For the first 2 weeks you will be convinced that FOR ONCE you’ve finally found the one who is not as fucked up as all the others. Finally it’s a fit!
After two weeks, the reality check starts kicking in. You find yourself noticing… you know… things.
At first you pretend not to notice them.
Until they are right in your face.
And you have to drop the dream.
Auch.
Again.
And search.
Again.
For that perfectly fitting someone….
It’s a loop, which keeps most people running round and round.
Until someone comes in and says: PEOPLE, IT DOESN’T WORK. I TRIED. OH, I TRIED REAL HARD.
That will be me today.
Can I be honest with you?
The only perfectly fitting thing that you can have with someone else is your genitals.
Yep.
Something worth working towards.
If there is a serious mismatch in the genitals it will always be an issue. And there’s no way around it.
The good news is that it’s pretty rare. We all are somewhere along a scale of small/medium/large sizes. And it’s only someone very small and someone very large that will never fit. Others can dance around it. And beautifully so.
Anyway.
If your pussy and cock are not liking each other, that’s the only real problem that a relationship can have.
If that is sorted, the rest is very much adjustable. And a matter of choice. And love.
If you ever have to question whether you love someone, see if you can actually choose to love them. If that doesn’t work, there is no reason to push things.
But if love is there… anything is possible.
All we have to do is commit to showing up for love.
Beyond that, we have to surrender to love.
Commit.
Surrender.
Commit.
Re-commit.
And surrender more.
It’s a fully powered spiritual practice.
It is not a piece of cake.
It’s so much more.
It’s a portal to boundless love.
It’s a portal to real freedom.
Because when you can let another be just as they are, when you can drop your demands, your co-dependency, your manipulative moves, and keep finding love and care deeply for them regardless of how they show up… you have found the magic key to freedom.
It’s not about letting someone walk over you. Please hear this.
Your love is never about them. Your love is always about you.
The more you can open to love, the greater you become.
Don’t you think we are ready for this kind of love?
Do you think we need to spend another 50 years demanding and proving that we are worthy?
I think we don’t have time for that.
I think we are ready now.
And I think it is kind of urgent.
Because the moment we surrender to love we end millennia of wars between the masculine and the feminine.
These wars are the cause of all wars.
I think it is about time they ended.

“But how? “- You may be wondering.
I believe that the best way to be able to really surrender to Love in the biggest sense of the word, and yet not enter into any co-dependant games (by placing expectations on your partner that they can’t fulfil or trying to be the perfect partner and totally compromising your integrity)… is by merging with your True Eternal Beloved… which is in fact not separare from… yourself!
To help you relax into His/Her embrace I created my new online course – Pleasure as Prayer.
Join in, and let’s grow through Pleasure together.

Art by @martine.emdur