Are you pleasure dependent on a partner?

“Sexuality? It’s not for me, I’m single,” – a phrase I’ve heard dozens of times.
This implies that this person believes that their sexual energy only gets activated when they have a partner. Meaning that it is the partner who activates them.
If you think that way, I don’t blame you – I used to believe it too.
Whenever I was single, my sexuality was dormant, and I was looking out for a new partner.
I was also hoping that an amazing partner would show up in my life and open me to my orgasmic pleasure.
But after 10 years of my own exploration and work in the field of conscious sexuality I have to say: nothing could be further from the truth. Not only that. In fact, this belief is VERY disempowering.
Just as we should not be looking for happiness outside of ourselves, we also should not wait for pleasure to be delivered to us by someone else.
It’s true that a loving partner can open you up. But – only to the degree that you are already open.
You can only let someone else as deep within you as you have been.
You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel ecstasy in your body as well as to feel radiant and juicy.
In fact, you can have massive amounts of pleasure by yourself, and without even touching yourself.
Eros is our nature,
our bodies are erotic,
pleasure is natural.
Mostly we need to learn to stop suppressing it.
Our sensuality, our ignited erotic nature, our sexuality when fully owned alters our life, makes us expand, becomes larger, in all aspects of our life.
Even now: can you feel a bit of tingling in some part of your body now? Maybe in your vulva, or maybe around your breasts, in your toes or forehead? Or can you feel a breeze touching your skin? Stay with this sensation, breathe and soften more into it, feel the pleasure of it, allow yourself to enjoy it.
This is your birth right.
The extent to which we own our sensuality is the extent to which we own our lives.
Unless you own your sensuality, you will always feel dependent or needy whether you are in a relationship or in search of one.
Not only it is not attractive, but first of all – that’s one way to give your power away.
When you think that someone else is controlling your pleasure, you feel like a visitor in your
own body.
Taking full ownership of your body and your pleasure is a big deal. And it’s a complete game
changer.
Many of us know a lot about pleasuring a man, but know nothing about pleasuring ourselves.
And on the contrary, all the great lovers that you have had in your life were educated by a lover
WHO KNEW THEIR OWN PLEASURE at some point of their life.
Subconsciously many people are scared of the immense power that is going to be available to them as they get in touch with their pleasure.
It is scary because it is unknown.
But it is a choice. A choice to be empowered. A choice to live life fully. A choice to not be satisfied by the mediocre when something extraordinary is available right now.
People who have a lot of pleasure in their life are hard to miss in a crowd. They look gorgeous. They are magnetic. Their life is extraordinary. They are radiantly alive.
And you know what, if you choose to be empowered, to awaken, to own your erotic nature, you
are doing it not only for yourself but for all of us.
Because each of us is part of the tapestry of this Universe.
As we transform, as we embrace pleasure and joy, it affects everyone else.
I want to see all the people in this world living in touch with their pleasure, walking through life feeling fulfilled and deeply connected to themselves, and therefore – the world around them. I want to see people thrive in radiance and joy.

Art by @libkos