Ending my seduction games

A few months ago I started something that I call a Relationships Fast.

It’s been a very insightful time.

It is incredible to zoom in specifically on seduction. So much of our lives revolves around seduction.

And I want to share four of my findings with you because I believe that I am touching upon a global phenomenon.

1. Seduction is a global phenomenon, one that is often hidden in total darkness, where we cannot see it.

When I wake up in the morning and choose my clothes, the way I look at myself in the mirror, the way I walk, the way I talk… Everything by default is infused by a subtle question: “Am I desirable, do people like me?”, and a subtle agenda… to seduce!

This is so subtle and so deeply engrained, it is easy to overlook it.

But once we see it, it is obvious that this way of moving in the world takes a lot of energy!

It is incredibly liberating to see those patterns, and actually drop them.

Because wherever in our life we act unconsciously – we are giving away our power and our freedom.

As I have been cutting the tendency to unconscious pulling, I have noticed how perplexed it leaves other people: “Really, you don’t want to play with me?”

Because it’s not only me, it’s the way humanity operates. Pushing, pulling, playing, calculating, responding to text messages with a delay, ignoring someone on purpose… you name it!

2. Seduction is based on the fear of missing out on love

“What if this is the one, what if I won’t meet anyone better, what if no one will love me like he/she does?..”
We are doing our best to succeed, to prove that we are worthy of love.

We are scared to be alone…
As if we have ever been not alOne.
As if we have ever been not loved.

So what if instead of seducing and trying to make people like us, we just showed up the way we are? What if we dropped the need to be likable?

We might think: “People will probably get bored with me, as I will most likely just be silent the entire time…”

Yet, we can drop it. We can drop it by remembering that in our essence we are whole, we are complete. When we can rest on our sense of deep self worth, we realize that we don’t need any external confirmation of the incredible beauty of who we truly are.

3. Seduction is based on nature’s programming

Nature needs us to procreate, and therefore we need to find our mate, and use all we’ve got for that!
We have the consciousness to recognize the pulls of nature and make our own empowered decisions.

4. Vulnerability is the key

We can make an outrageous choice:

We can choose to be vulnerable.

Being vulnerable means showing up without a mask.
Like, for real.

A mask is nothing but an effort to protect ourselves… from being vulnerable. From not knowing what is to come next. From moving from a place of spontaneity. From experiencing the real beauty of existence…

With our vulnerability we are healing the world through the openness of love.
It does take a lot of heart and willingness to show up unpolished, vulnerable, raw. But that’s what makes this life worth living.

***

I do my work of taming this wild animal that I am.

I used to fall in love… FAST. And I gave it all… FAST. And I wanted it all… FAST.

And now… I harness the fire and keep it in my womb. I choose to not project this fire outside of me. I let excitement settle in. I let the fire cook me.

I am riding my tiger, but I don’t let it ride me.

I stay quiet.