Fear of Going Deeper

He walked in and sat next to me. “I am scared,” – he said.

“I really want a deep relationship, but I’m so scared.

Once we start going deeper, I pull away and reject the woman, all because I’m so fucking scared that I will open my heart to her and then she will leave me.

At the same time I want it more than anything.

I want to relate, I want depth, I want connection. But I’m terrified of it all at the same time.”

His words hit me to my core.

I knew exactly what he meant.

I was crying. He was crying too.

I had nothing to respond to it.

I wish we all can come to be aware of our shadow – the unconscious patterns that arise from traumatic experiences in the past.

Then, at least we can recognise when the shadow is playing out, and make a choice accordingly.

Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash