June 17, 2021

When I was 19 I broke up with my boyfriend over online messenger.

For over a month I could feel myself drifting away from him. I knew deep down that I was over him but hoped that he would just “get it” and I wouldn’t need to explain anything. I just wanted him to let me go and release me from all ties.

I became more and more cold. He became more and more confused.

When I broke up with him, he was in so much pain. And I was happy I could do whatever I wanted.

It crushed him.

Many years later it came back to me – someone broke up with me via a text message…

✯ Honest truth: Ghosting is a cowardly strategy to avoid confrontation. ✯

This is not only about confronting an uncomfortable conversation with another.
It’s also about confronting YOURSELF.

It’s easier to ghost someone than to tell them to their face that you are over them.
It’s also easier to ghost someone than to open your heart to the risk of love and heartbreak.
So many men and women self-sabotage what could be a powerful opening, through ghosting.

You know that the person will be in pain, and you don’t want to cause pain. Yet you can’t escape that because we all have to disappoint people from time to time.

It takes courage to be direct.
If we don’t have the courage, we start avoiding.
In fact, this avoidance hurts more than the direct confrontation.
 
Let’s get honest here:

✧ Are you ghosting someone in your life?

✧ A lover, a friend, a co-worker or maybe even a parent?

✧ What would it take to reach out and say with clarity what is going on?

✧ What would it take to clear any unspoken truth in the situation between you?

Sometimes you might be not sure yourself what is going on. In this case, you can say:

“Hey, I know I haven’t been very available lately. I’m sorry if it has been confusing for you. Something is changing inside of me right now — I don’t exactly know what, but I will reach out within the next two weeks and share more.”

Offering honesty is an act of kindness.
Although it might hurt them and they may even get upset or angry at first.
Once the storm cools off, I guarantee they will appreciate the clarity.

When you come into deeper integrity with yourself, you become more of a match for the relationships that you truly desire which will fulfill you on every level.
Radical self-accountability, rooted in self-love, and in a deep courage — this heals your inner masculine and inner feminine and it is also SO sexy for your lover to feel in you.

Have you ever been ghosted, or ghosted another?
Comment here with honest thoughts and reflections.


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