How Tantra changed my life

Today many people know me as an international Tantra teacher, a woman who initiates incredibly important yet at times very uncomfortable conversations about sexuality, who holds training sessions in some of the most stunning locations in the world, someone who is traveling the world and living her passion. I am financially sovereign and free to be wherever in the world I want to be, I am surrounded by amazing people and I create environments of openness and heart connection.

But I want you to know that I’ve come a long way. Ten years ago I was still living in Moscow and working as a lawyer. Even though I spent 5 years in a law school, I never felt I belonged to that lifestyle. I felt that I was stuck inside a box in the office and I never felt that I was meant to live that way…
I kept trying to have meaningful relationships, but kept being disappointed, feeling unappreciated, unmet, and generally my self esteem was pretty low.
Fast forward to the time when I first discovered Tantra. I remember being in a class together with 100 people… The teacher was sharing about the sacredness of our pleasure, of our desires… He was saying that we can meet our divinity through sex… I was stunned. I remember thinking to myself: “I have always known this. How could I have forgotten?…”

Tantra didn’t feel new. It felt as if it was something I’d known in my bones. Yet could never express because… well, because no-one would get me!
Fast forward to my first Tantric relationship. I remember lying in bed after the most amazing love-making, in tears of gratitude, pleasurable waves continuously spreading through my body… I felt as if there was a fountain of light pouring out of the center of my chest. I felt I was so big, bigger than the house we were in…. It went on for what felt like hours… Or was it days?…

Then I knew. My life had changed. And there was no way back. That light would never leave.
I had a little tattoo done on my wrist that was meant to remind me of this choice, if I ever forgot the incredible beauty that had started permeating my entire life…

The endless beauty of my own divinity.
I haven’t forgotten.
Right up to today, even now I so often go to bed with tears of gratitude for this sacred life.

I feel immensely blessed, I feel I have received so much… I feel immensely privileged to be on this magnificent path of Tantra.
My only wish is to be able to offer people that I care for an opportunity to see at least a little glimpse of what I’ve come to know.
And when that happens… When I see people’s hearts cracking open to their own divinity… This is enough for me. Because in those moments I know that I have served.

From my own experience and years of work I know one thing for sure:
your unleashed sexuality is the gateway to your highest potential, you can be loved and honoured for who you are, you can live exactly the life you desire, you can be filled with joy and ecstasy and your radiance is exactly the medicine that the world needs right now.
And all of it is deeply spiritual.

Even though I never thought I needed any sexual healing, I have done a ton of it, opened up to the orgasmic pleasure which I never thought was possible, and I am convinced that unlocking my sexual potential was THE experience that I needed to start living fully and manifesting the life of my dreams.

Besides that, and what is in fact the most important thing, once our sexual energy flows freely, the potential of our body as portal to our own spirit is clear.

And then our body becomes a temple.
Then we don’t need to look for anything outside of ourselves. We don’t need to be filled by food, by a partner, or anything else.
Because we discover the very source of all within.
We discover the divine within.