“I don’t think you’ve ever surrendered to me.” – I heard my friend saying to his (now ex) girlfriend while I was facilitating a conscious uncoupling ceremony for them. ⠀
My heart sank when I heard these words. ⠀
He is certainly not the only man who has never experienced being gifted by the complete opening of his women. In fact, most men have never experienced it. If they did, they would be living in total devotion and worship of the Feminine.⠀
There’s just no other way. Once you taste this nectar there is no turning back. ⠀
✨Why doesn’t she surrender? ⠀
Is it his fault? ⠀
Is it just “her stuff”? ⠀
The answer is twofold:⠀
1. It has nothing to do with him, it is her stuff coming from her traumatic experiences and it is her responsibility to resolve those. ⠀
2. It has everything to do with him, he is entirely responsible for it. ⠀
I know. I keep writing about how grey matter literally grows in your superior brain when you grow in capacity to hold the complexity of Life. Well, that’s exactly the place to exercise this.⠀
🔥WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE.🔥⠀
➡️ We have the ability to respond, this makes us respons-ible.⠀
To accept the responsibility is what makes us grownups.⠀
While surrender is the Feminine yearning and there are specific ways how she can and should develop it (I spoke about it in detail in my yesterday’s video)… in a Union, the Masculine also has the responsibility to support his partner to surrender. ⠀
Not only for her sake. But for his own sake. And for the sake of the whole world.⠀
♥️ How can you support your beloved’s surrender?⠀
Ask these questions frequently:⠀
“How can I support you to feel safe?”⠀
“What specific actions can I do to make you feel loved?”⠀
Some things that she will request will be a stretch for you. Don’t panic. You can respond with: “Thank you for expressing this, I understand and at this moment this feels like a lot for me, but what I would be available for is…. How would that feel?”⠀
Now, to the avoidant part of you (see adult attachment theory), this is a nightmare. This part may go like “what the hell, it’s not my job to heal her, it’s none of my responsibility, it’s her stuff!”
➡️This is a reaction that’s coming from your own trauma. In therapy, it’s called fear of engulfment. This part is also welcome, this part also needs safety.
As you work on providing safety to her, you Lo working on getting clear on your own needs and providing safety to you.
Deep bow, oh warrior!
What else can you do?
⚡️Internally: work on developing, your inner pillar, your mature MAsculine through meditation and other masculine practices.
She cannot surrender because of her lack of trust – she does not feel safe. She doesn’t feel it in her own skin. And clearly – your energy is also not supporting her to feel safe. There are always two to tango and her lack of safety is your invitation to deepen into your Masculine.
It’s not a fail. We all came here to learn. Whenever you get an opportunity to learn and grow – celebrate it! Opportunities are everywhere, but the instant you actually see them – you are blessed. Because through these opportunities you are stepping into the truer and freer You.
⚡️What gives safety?⠀
Integrity: do what you say you will do.
Staying power / Ability to be with what is: don’t withdraw in face of challenges – embrace them instead.
Your vulnerability: dare to expose what’s really on your heart.
It’s not easy but it’s your Warrior training.
To be held by the MAsculine is a gift that is full of Grace. Each one of you reading these words has this gift.
Please don’t hold it back from us.
Please let us see your Greatness.
My invitation to step into your Greatness is open to all men that can resonate with this n their hearts. If you want to receive support click here.
Art by @miedziak.skonieczna⠀
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The Key to the Feminine Mystery
A Practical Guide for Men who Rise