Inviting your partner into their heart

Any woman who chooses to be in a predominantly feminine energy mode in a relationship (and life) has an incredible superpower.⠀

She can create a safe space for her partner to open his heart. ⠀

*Note: I am referring to heterosexual relationships here (and in much of my writing), although it works in exactly the same way for homosexual couples.  ⠀

We all need to feel safe in order to open our hearts. ⠀

Safety cannot be underestimated. We all have small or big wounds in our lives which when re-activated make us feel unsafe, and we respond in one of three ways: we fight / we withdraw / we freeze (and look as if we are cool and non-reactive). ⠀

What is a safe space?⠀

It is space where you feel accepted as you are. Where your nervous system is relaxed. Where you feel free to feel and open your heart.⠀

First and foremost: we need to feel safe in our own skin. If we don’t, no partner, even the most enlightened one, will ever help us feel that way.⠀

When we speak about relationships, there are two ways of creating safety: the masculine and the feminine. ⠀

I will speak about the feminine way now.

Most men didn’t grow up knowing how to feel. (“Boys don’t cry”). And in relationships they usually won’t open their hearts until they can really feel safe with their partner, which may take months or even longer. ⠀

So what makes a man feel safe?⠀

♥️When the woman feels her feelings, owns the responsibility for her feelings, and expresses what she feels, she makes it safe for her partner to be with her.♥️⠀

I find this fascinating.⠀

First we need to turn our emotions into empowered emotions. ⠀

Here’s how:⠀⠀

1. Learn how to feel, as so many women have learnt to function in a masculine energy way (hence all the yoni work and opening up is so important – see Activated Woman online course).⠀

2. Learn to express feelings in a non-violent way (oh how often women attack people, saying “I am just expressing what I feel!” thinking that this makes her somehow “empowered”).⠀

3. Have our rock solid inner man in place (Priestess School, module 1), so we don’t fall apart when the external man cannot be rock solid (and sometimes he won’t). ⠀

When these are in place our emotions become a real gift. ⠀

Because emotions expressed in a clear and healthy way connect us. ⠀

Emotions expressed in the moment invite us to be present.⠀

When a man experiences his woman embodying that, he receives this as an invitation to also connect with his heart.♥️⠀

He knows that she is not attacking him or making him responsible for how she feels. He knows that she won’t fall apart if he is not there for her, this feels like a relief from pressure that most men feel much of the time. And he feels her heart.⠀

This gives him safety to feel his heart, his emotions and his love for her. ⠀

And that’s what she wants, right? ♥️⠀