What’s the best idea for the times when conflict is on the horizon in your relationship?
When you are triggered and know that you are tapping into a challenging territory, DON’T TALK ABOUT IT!
At least talking should not be the first thing you do.
Talking takes you into your mind, and the mind knows nothing about love.
WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU DON’T TALK THEN?
Ignore the issue? Pretend that nothing happened?
Engage energetically, move or dance together, breathe together, look into each other’s eyes in silence, or if you’ve ever studied with me, do the couple’s Kali meditation (my students love this one!).
And here is my man’s and my recent finding:
Perform oral sex on each other
This works like a charm because in oral sex we are in fact bowing to each other’s divine essence, which our genitals represent.
A man’s penis represents the masculine divine essence.
A woman’s yoni represents the feminine divine essence.
It is a way of saying without words: “Even though my personality is triggered by you now, my love is bigger than my personality, my discontent, my hurt and my overwhelm. Even if I feel emotions that make me feel uncomfortable right now, my love for you is not affected in any way. I see you. I honour you. I care for you. I love you.”
After you are complete, you may still want to talk about your emotions. Other times you will discover that once you’ve moved the energy there is nothing left to talk about!
If you choose to speak, please remember to do so with openness and without blaming the other for how you feel. This is an act of care. Care is a quality that only someone who has looked deep into their own heart can offer. Practice it with each other.
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Sundari Love Practices
5 Simple Tools To Deepen Intimacy