On healthy boundaries

You cannot be super clear on your Yes without being super clear on your No. ❌

Boundaries are not walls. Boundaries are actually The way to foster care and connection. (I know, we got it all mixed up!)

Here’s the thing:

Absence of healthy boundaries means absence of healthy connection to self. When there is no healthy connection to self, there cannot be a healthy connection to anyone else!

Boundaries are based on clear agreements, that we first of all need to make with our own selves.

⚡️Here are a few of the boundaries I have around social media:

I don’t coach people via DMs
I don’t give travel advice
I don’t give fashion advice
I don’t accept offers from people who slide into my inbox and are straight away pitching something to me

⚡️Why?

1. Because it doesn’t feel good to me. (And this alone is a good enough reason. But there are more!)

2. Because every minute of my time is precious and it’s better for everyone that I use it towards something I love to do and that I am gifted at.

3. Because I’m not into giving superficial personal advice whiteout knowing the depth of the context. (It’s different when it inspires me to create content).

4. Because it is not in integrity towards my paying clients.

Do people get offended when I say no?

Typically not. Because I express this in a kind way and as I honour my own boundaries it also invites them to reflect on their own.

Honouring our boundaries is in fact an act of kindness. Unkind would be to be available for everything at all times. Because then I would have far less energy for the things through which I am actually serving what I came here to serve.

I noticed that the moment I get clear on my own Yes and No in a certain area of my Life, my boundaries around it no longer get tested by others. Meaning, my inner clarity oozes out of me and I am no longer available for misalignment. (Not even magic!)