Today I sent a message to my dad saying that I wasn’t going to do the thing he asked me to do for him.
It felt special to be so firm and clear on my boundaries because there was a time when I wouldn’t be able to say no neither to him, nor to anyone else. I used to let myself feel pressured by people’s demands and put everyone’s needs first, way ahead of mine.
To do that I had to go through a journey of connecting with my inner little girl and reassuring her that it’s ok to say no to things that don’t feel right, even if it’s her beloved daddy who’s asking for it.
As little children we learnt that being nice to our parents was important because otherwise we could get in trouble and be punished in some way.
Then we walk through life and keep *transferring* our relationship with our parents to relationships with other people, especially our intimate partners (or potential partners), mentors and friends. Unless we’ve healed our Mother and Father Wounds.
Healing these is so important for attracting a healthy relationship that is supporting your soul purpose (I call it *dharmic relationship*) and is not merely there to trigger these wounds and encourage healing.
Having gone through many years of healing of these patterns, I still catch myself overriding my boundaries at times, especially when I’m feeling vulnerable or tired. When I’m extra sensitive I may not react fast enough to say no to something that doesn’t really feel good.
What makes a huge difference now compared to how it used to be is that I catch myself quickly. It still hurts, but it doesn’t stick. Because I let myself feel my feeling of sadness and pain of not listening to myself… I let myself express to others how I felt. And then… the space is clear and there is no residual frustration.
Because I gave word to myself that I won’t hold onto anything.
And I don’t break my word.
Drop a 💚in the comments if you’d like me to share more about the Father wound! It’s a big one for MANY.
And I have some really exciting news to share with those of you who want to attract a Next Level relationship — my online course Come, my Love is out!🤩
Art by @bibbie_friman
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