Do you want to know how do I know so much about relationships?
Because I got hurt.
I learnt all the things the hard way: I did it all completely wrong. I messed things up, I judged, demanded, believed in my fantasies, I got heartbroken… over and over again.
And now… I am finding myself in the most beautiful relationship of my Life that is entirely Soul aligned and supporting so many people to create masterpieces out of their relationships.
Sometimes the karmic pull towards the other person feels completely overpowering as if you can’t help it. Even if things are terrible and actually abusive between the two of you, as if by an invisible force you are still compelled to stay…
Various dynamics might be at play:
Anxious + avoidant attachment styles entanglement. (Aka the deadly duo )
Trauma bond (when you have matching wounds).
Soul contracts created way before this lifetime.
Usually, all of them.
What I don’t recommend is to call it a “toxic relationship”. And even more so – calling other people “toxic” or labelling them as having mental disorders.
Not only this is unkind, but it also empowers victim mentality.
I believe that the only toxic relationship you can ever have is the one with your own self.
(If this is triggering you – please take a breath and remember that you are under no obligation to agree with everything I say. )
If you are still here, I will explain what I mean.
You are the creator of your destiny.
You have access to your free will at all times.
If only you dare to look deeply enough, you will recognise it.
Based on my experience and observation I know that if something is happening, something in us chooses to experience it… and it very well may be powered by a cord we have from ancient times.
And if you keep abandoning your heart and choosing to stay in or repeatedly create a dysfunctional and damaging situation… the toxic relationship within clearly has to be addressed.
This does not for a second justify the abusive behaviour of another. If you have experienced it – it is terrible and I am so sorry this happened… I know how entirely unfair and devastating this feels. You have to give space to grieving and processing.
Once you are ready to move on… remember that we all have better things to do than “calling out” and blaming other people. When we do that we are only contributing to the war against humanity.
It takes so much courage to look within and admit this… so most people choose to invest their energy into analysing the other person and explaining to them and to the whole world where they are misbehaving and being “toxic”.
Focus on the right things.
Focus on what empowers you and makes you happy.
Focus on letting your inner Fire alchemise your pain and turn it into gold.
The most compassionate people you know are the ones who’ve faced pain and didn’t let it close them off.
they made it
Do you need support in the deepening of your relationship? Join Bigger than We, a journey for couples who are ready to take their relationship to the next level and start co-creating together with the Universe.
Get your free ebook
Sundari Love Practices
5 Simple Tools To Deepen Intimacy