If someone is upsetting you, before judging or lashing out at him or her, take a breath and ask yourself: why is this happening?
We are you so quick to judge and assume the worst.
But what if you let yourself become curious?
Through curiosity we can expand our capacity as human beings, we can expand our consciousness.
You will never know exactly what another person is experiencing, because you are not them!
When you are upset with someone and think that they are being mean to you, they might be:
– Simply not realising that their behaviour is causing you pain – what can you educate them about?
– They may be caught up in a trauma response, for example the “freeze”. What this means is that a situation triggered a subconscious memory of a traumatic experience. Although they may look totally normal, even cool, on the inside they are frozen. Depending on how much trauma work they have done they may be able to admit it. Other times, and more frequently the person is not ready to face the pain that will open up once they face the trauma. So even if you point at it, they may say it is not true. Yes, it is denial. No, it won’t help if you try to prove it to them. It will only close them off even more. Denial is a symptom of trauma.
So next time before assuming the worst, take a breath and ask yourself:
What may their experience be like?
Let’s cultivate the culture in which we are curious, kind and loving.
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Sundari Love Practices
5 Simple Tools To Deepen Intimacy