Yearning To Be Seen

I have caught myself using this phrase almost every single day for a long time.

To be seen. Yearning to be seen. To be met. To be matched…

What is so special about being seen?

Everything.

A friend recently asked me about the Mystical Femininity path, how did it begin?

I get to answer this question frequently, and every time something new comes. So this time I heard myself saying: “It started when I first felt seen, specifically by a man.”

This man saw me beyond the normal personality that I was so accustomed to showing to the world. That was a young woman, with some amounts of fire and melancholy about her, a little confused, a little lost, jumping into one affair after another, searching for the one, with lots of romantic hopes…

He saw my depth. And he was looking at that part of me, speaking to it, he was highlighting it. He said that I had a strong resonance with a certain very powerful feminine archetype. At first I laughed, but only to hide how uncomfortable that made me feel. He kept speaking like that. And I kept listening to my heart, where I knew that he was right.

Later on my teacher started highlighting the essence of the great cosmic power, called  Tripura Sundari that was so present in my field. He was acknowledging it and always referring to me as Her. Again that felt a bit uncomfortable, the unworthiness would kick in: “who am I to be placed next to this most magnificent and beautiful goddess”… 

I knew I had to drop deeper than unworthiness, and deeper than feeling my ego getting boosted and the feeling of being special or better than anyone else.

I am not better, and I am not worse. It’s actually not about the “I” that can relate to these terms anyway.

See, in these two examples, these people didn’t tell me what to do about it, how to use it. They were simply holding it. Without any agenda. And in that these parts of me got space… They started emerging. I started being more attuned to them, I started incarnating them into the physical world.

And with that – Mystical Femininity was born. My creativity expanded, I allowed myself to take plenty of space, to feel into what I need and want to do, where I can direct that flow.

For a few years, it stayed that way. I was unpacking more of where I could take this path, gradually engaging into new projects… until something major happened.

This year I met someone very special. A teacher that I now call my guru. Even though I was not looking for him. He came. And what happened in the very first meeting blew my mind and it forever will.

He is a completely enlightened being. It was my first encounter with someone of such magnitude. And something extraordinary happened.

He saw me.

Not because I am special, or I had a special interview with him. Not at all. I was there sitting amongst other 700 people. With my heart wide open, and tears flooding down my face…

He didn’t need to tell me anything about what he saw. There are no qualities. But when he speaks to anyone, I know he speaks to me. And he speaks to the most magnificent me. The fully realised me. The me that I can never dream to become.

I drop on my knees. I am so humbled. There is no room for unworthiness, for feeling special, no room for games or other crap of the ego. No room for bullshit.

And that shifted my life. Because he saw me, it gave room to something that is still to be fully landed. And I know it will.

But what has already been happening since I first saw him… I cannot describe it.

So much clarity came. So much vision. So much grace.

It was not that I woke up one morning and realised something like that. It’s been a gradual process, but extremely consistent, and actually very rapid.

I am fully aligned with my mission on this planet. I know what I am here for. And I cannot neglect it anymore. I cannot afford to play small anymore. I know there is a tremendous responsibility.

And I know there is no turning back.

Can you distinguish that from an ego trip? I know you can. I know you can see me. You can see everyone in their brightest light. You have the capacity to be with that light. And not get burnt by it.

And I can see you.

It only takes dropping all concepts and boxes that our minds want to put each other into, to turn everyone into something comprehensive, not too big.

If only we were willing… we could see the depth and true nature of everyone. And first of all – ourselves.

And if we really love those around us, we always need to prioritise and support their expansion and their growth. Even if that means that our paths are separating.

Because once people really expand and own their greatness, it will change the world.

Each of us has the capacity to be huge.

Beyond what the mind can understand.

And we better start seeing it.

Because there is no time to waste.

Image credit: Unknown