To those tender people who have a hard time saying “no” ….
I get it.
I get that you really love harmony.
I get that you hate upsetting people.
I get that you have had experiences in the past that taught you that each time you don’t do what is asked/expected from you, it makes someone upset and gets you in trouble with them.
I get that you hate conflict and want to do anything you can to avoid it.
I get that it feels safer to give someone a “maybe” and keep them hanging rather than give a clear “no” knowing that it may become a “yes” in a bit….
And yet, sooner or later you will need to learn to own your “no”.
For the sake of respect for those you interact with. And most importantly – for the sake of respect for yourself.
Here are a few points for you to ponder on:
1. “Maybe” is a “no”
2. Even if you know that your “no” may become a “yes”, in this moment it is a “no”
3. When someone is asking you something, express what is true for you in the moment: yes or no.
4. Your clear “no” is beautiful. It is sharp like a knife that cuts through water.
5. Your “no” saves time and energy for the other person. Once this is clear, they don’t have to dwell in a dream of “maybe”.
6. Your “no” protects you from being pulled on energetically. When someone is expecting something from you, it creates a lingering energy, invisible energy strings are being created, and they are causing inconsistencies in your energy field.
7. What to do if you know that the other person will be upset because of your “no”? Breathe and understand that they are allowed to be upset. There’s nothing wrong with being upset. You don’t need to help them not feel upset. They’ll get over it!
8. The sooner you offer your “no” the sooner they will get over their upset.
9. Sometimes you don’t give a “no” because it gives you an illusion of safety – you want to keep this option open as a fire exit or a second option. Understand that this is your shadow of not trusting yourself. And this makes people feel used.
10. To develop your power of discernment (where is your “yes” and where is your “no”) engage in practices that help activate the third eye.