I believe that the main reason why we may choose to be with someone is because we want to feel deeply met.
To be met means to have a connection that ignites our soul. Through this meeting we discover more of who we are; we are shown the areas where we could stretch some more, and eventually we even rise above that. In this meeting, just like two magnets we are drawn to each other because ultimately what we want… is to cancel the polarity between us and dissolve into One.
When this meeting happens it feels like a “click”, like two perfectly matching parts of the puzzle have come together. It happens because we feel a natural mutual submission of our souls coming together.
And from here we can begin our holy work. We can open up into the potential of the mystical impulse that brought us together in the first place…
There are 4 main levels on which we can be met. These are: Sexual, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual.
Watch my video to discover more about these areas.
And the most important of the four is… the sexual connection.
Do we speak the same sexual language? Are we both willing to let the erotic space take over and reveal its magic to us as we get lost in each other’s eyes? Can we let our guards down with full willingness, and offer our body and soul to this lover with complete abandonment?
This level of sex can’t happen with someone we only lust after. This type of sex can only happen when we have truly deeply opened to one another.
So what does this mean, exactly?
Deeply opening to one another entails mutual exchange of energy. It means that we trust the other person with the deepest parts of ourselves, the ones we don’t usually reveal to others. It means that we see the direct portal to our soul in our lover.
And mind you, this isn’t about being submissive and losing ourselves in one another.
It is about trusting the mystery and magic of the chemistry and love, and choosing to let down our walls.
Sex isn’t everything, but it is SO MUCH. Intimacy is what connects us. But sex establishes the ground of a partnership. It’s where we openly and willingly open up to our lover. We let them into our space, into our body, which allows our energy and our souls to meet and expand together.
Sex is the closest we can be to another person on this physical plane.
When the sex is amazing, it means that we have already opened up to one another. We trust one another and feel comfortable enough to let someone see us in ways no one else will.
The inexplicable magnetic attraction between two souls is what makes sex incredible. Call it chemistry, call it polarity, call it magic… It starts with physical attraction, but really it signifies something bigger.
When we have a high level of magnetic attraction with someone, we also have a deeper connection, which results in a massive potential for an extraordinary relationship. And it’s so important to keep nourishing this attraction, keep exploring it, keep dropping deeper through your own rituals and retreats, tantra, or trainings that help you deepen as a couple for example.
What to do if the sexual connection is not there? Is it over then?
Well, you can only say it’s really over if you have first tried everything to make it work. And it can be incredibly rewarding, regardless of the outcome.
What we need to do is get real and honest about why the sex isn’t measuring up. Are we mentally or emotionally disconnected from our lover? Is there a lack of total trust? Are there insecurities in the way? Have we lost ourselves to roles within the relationship?
For example, many couples end up playing the good husband and good wife roles. This doesn’t require being actually married, but there are strong ideas that we all have about what it means to be in a relationship. And eventually these ideas may become the very blocks that limit us as a couple.
So remember this: sex is a barometer. The quality of sex demonstrates how strong the relationship is.
And the most important level to meet is the sexual level. This is what is going to fuel your entire relationship and make you expand beyond what the mind can even conceive.
And if sex is mind blowing, the relationship will be as well.
Art by @tinamariaelena
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