The Wound of My Heart

A wound is bleeding in my heart, the wound of separation from the very source of existence, the wound of being isolated and not understood.
The wound of being an alien on this Earth, the planet that I love so much, an alien in this world which I hold so dearly in my heart.
The wound of being too intense, too much, not being appropriate.
Not being proper! Because this is what you learn as a little child – to please everyone you need to behave properly and be the right person and show up in all the right ways.

The wound of isolation is bleeding intensely; it pours blood when I am shamed and not understood.
When women compete with me, when men look at me as an object, when I am not seen… It presses on the wound. It begins to bleed again…

The wound is bleeds rivers when I am scared to be judged for showing my heart. By exposing my love.

When I am scared of exposing my love… what can be more isolating than that?

What is more scary than when we are scared to show how much we really love?

How much do we really love?

Each time when I fear that my intensity is too wild, that my truth is hurting others, that my not trying to fit in is pressing on the wounds of others, that my love for the divine has to be held secret…

The rain is pours its elixir into my wide open soul and my heart cries…
But this time,
these are tears of immense joy. Of utter celebration.

Tears of realization… that my longing has been answered.

Because a moment came, when I was met.

And I know now that there are people in this world who feel as deeply as I do, who cannot bear the separation in the same way as I do, who know that they are here to love and they are ready to die for their commitment to Truth.

I want these people around me, I want these people to be empowered to shine bright like a thousand suns, I want these people to lose all fear and come out of hiding.

I am going to create temples where these people come together and unite. Because when we meet… When we come together. When we are brave enough to drop the bullshit… We are creating a new world together. A world of love. A world of peace.

Today I pray for that.

Photo by Red Mahan