Bringing Desire Back

It’s ok to not feel like making love. It’s ok to not feel juicy or sexy… but it doesn’t have to be the case!⠀
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It’s cold here in Ibiza. Considering that we don’t have any central heating… indoors it is way colder than what I experienced while living in Russia. It’s the longest that I’ve spent in cold weather in over 10 years. ⠀
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The cold is NOT sexy. I cannot be naked during much of the day, getting undressed is an experience(!), it takes some time to warm up after getting into the cold bed. ⠀
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Sometimes it takes a really long time for my body to open. Sometimes it doesn’t open at all and then I don’t have penetrative sex. ⠀
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>> In case you are rather new here, yes, sex doesn’t have to involve penetration.<<
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A woman’s body should only be penetrated when it is open. Open body means that her heart is open, her energetic and physical waters are flowing and then… her magical pussy opens as well.
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We all have less sexy moments in our lives. First of all you need to know that it is absolutely fine. You don’t have to feel guilty or push yourself into it if you are not 100% in.⠀
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However many women tend to feel more and more resistance to making love, and that may last for weeks, months or even years. ⠀
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There are a few reasons for that:⠀

1. Spending too much time in your masculine energy (being focused and result oriented)⠀

Masculine energy in all of us is about being focused and result oriented. It’s the energy of achieving, providing, reaching forward, penetrating. The ultimate Masculine is pure presence, absence of emotion, an empty container.⠀
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Incredibly beautiful principle. But clearly it’s not a juicy place! ⠀
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If you are spending much of your time focusing on growing your business, making money, taking care of your children (yes mother energy has a lot of masculine to it!) and most of your daily activities are action oriented… No wonder you are not in the juicy mood!⠀
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What is juicy is the feminine energy. It is the feminine flow that enlivens us and everything around us. ⠀
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Ultimate feminine principle is Life. Life in its essence IS erotic. ⠀
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Many women have been on a journey of stepping into their masculine. This is such an important ground work! Especially (but not only) for those of us who were brought up as princesses or are simply highly sensitive feminine women. We had to find a place of self sufficiency and independence. Perhaps at times we had to harden a bit and muscle through… ⠀
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In that we tend to disconnect from our natural feminine essence. ⠀
In that we forget to move our hips.⠀
We forget to do things that simply feel good and nurture our hearts.⠀
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To land back into the feminine we have to become much more playful, a lot less serious and prioritise our joy above everything. ⠀

Yes, that!⠀
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No, it is not selfish. Because each time you prioritise your joy you make this world a better place. BECAUSE WE ARE ALL STARVING FOR THE FEMININE GRACE AND RADIANCE.⠀
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So how do you activate and empower your Feminine?⠀

– By moving the body in a feminine way
– By being in tune with your deep Heart and expressing your feelings, especially anger
– By connecting with your yoni in a conscious way (as I am teaching in detain in Activated Woman online course)

Now the main key to all this:
It is your inner Masculine that has to provide the container that insures that all these things happen. When the container is solid, no excuse has any room!

Neither cold weather, nor lack of inspiration!

Your dedication creates the container:

• Dedicate at least 15 minutes every day to move your hips (just this has made incredible shifts in lives of many women). Every day!
• Throughout the day, no matter what, make sure you have dedicated time to self nourishment (be it taking a bath, going to sauna, getting a massage etc.)
• Explore how you can bring more playfulness to your life. (I am an ex lawyer… I tend to get very deep and very serious. I had to learn playfulness and trust me, it’s leanrable!)

2. Unresolved issues with your partner (current or ex)⠀

You can do as many amazing nurturing practices, take aphrodisiacs and do anything else to boost your libido but if there are unresolved issues with your partner, the effect of anything you do will not be lasting.⠀
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Feminine sexuality is deeply connected to the heart. In fact in its pure essence sexuality is nothing but expression of the Heart. And the feminine body cannot be cheated on it. ⠀
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So if there is anything unresolved, unaddressed, unacknowledged; if you are holding onto something that happened between you and your partner, something that hurt you and you didn’t express or didn’t feel heard in… there will be a tight spot in your heart. It just won’t let your body fully open. That will impact your desire, and rightfully so. ⠀
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When your body is not willing to open to love it is giving you a signal that you cannot ignore any longer.
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You have to have that honest conversation. You have to address that pain. You can no longer hide. By hiding you are withholding your heart. ⠀
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This is a disservice not only to your s.ex life, your partner and yourself, but to the whole world.⠀
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The radiant unleashed Feminine is our portal to the magnificence of Life. You are the keeper of Life. You are committing nothing short of a crime by holding it back from us.⠀
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Unleashed radiant woman, we need you. ⠀
We cannot live without you. ⠀
Please show us your true beauty. ⠀
Please show us your heart.⠀
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WHAT TO DO?⠀
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>>> Clear the space. <<<⠀
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Meaning what?⠀
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Meaning approach your partner and say: “My love, I have something vulnerable to share, when is a good time?”⠀
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At the designated time start by creating a container. ⠀
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Take your timer and time 10 or 15 minutes. During that time only 1 (ONLY ONE, this is very important) of you will be speaking, and the other one will be sitting in silence and listening with full attention to what the partner is saying. When you are sharing make sure it doesn’t come across as blame or judgement (this will close off your partner).

Make sure you only share your experience and feelings. What you really need is to be heard. This is what will clear the old grudges. But if you start attacking your partner, it will be very hard for them to hear you.

Once you’re done, take a deep breath together and close your eyes for a moment. Then switch roles, the other partner has a go.

If you didn’t manage to avoid blame and judgement – apologise. And come back to this practice at a later time.

In case your partner is not available for such a practice, you can do it without their physical presence. You can imagine that your partner is sitting in front of you and then you speak to their soul.

You may also have unresolved issues with your ex, or any other person with whom you were intimate. It may also be with men as such. For those who were sexually abused there likely will be a deep mistrust in men. It may also be the case if your mother or even grandmother was abused. Issues may run deep and may need some serious trauma work. These issues create knots in our hearts. It is possible and important to undo these knots.

Turning these stones is a holy work of love.

I am not saying any of this lightly. This is an invitation to go deep. Yes, it may bring up stuff that you would rather not see.

But, my darling, you didn’t come here to live a mediocre life.

Deep down you know that as long as you are hiding from any part of your life, you are living only in part, not fully.

It’s ok if you are not ready for it now, you may need to first build more resilience before addressing some things.

But whenever you’re ready know that you have my full blessings and support of millions of angels backing you up.

3. Disconnection from your body/ not moving your body enough in the right way (which has a lot to do with 1)

Disconnection from your body/ not moving your body enough (in the right way) is another very clear reason for not being open for sexy times.⠀
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You may be doing yoga or working out and hence think that you are well connected to your body. While this is great, you need to know that not all movement connects you to your body. And not all movement connects you to your body in a feminine way. ⠀
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Any type of body centered practice that has to do with repeating the same movement, potentially a certain amount of times has a masculine linear nature. Be it work out, yoga (or rather what is known as yoga in the west), pilates or most other types of activities.⠀
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That’s great if you want to develop your strength. It will also develop your masculine energy. ⠀
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If you are one of us who yearn to fully surrender into the current of Love, then you need feminine practice. Daily. And absolutely – before you have a romantic date with your beloved.⠀
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The main key to this practice is that it is non-linear. It gives space for the spontaneous movement of the body and expression of emotion. Dancing is great. In that you need to focus on moving your hips first. Practices that I share in Activated woman online course are all great. Self pleasuring as I teach in Pleasure as Prayer online course. Any other practice you know that makes you move your body in non-linear ways and gives space for you to express your emotion is exactly what you need. ⠀

Art by @modreams_