RELATIONSHIPS

All Articles on »RELATIONSHIPS«

Your inner work will pay off

About this time three years ago I was in a tiny dark ground floor apartment in Lisbon: I hadn’t eaten for a few days, I was dealing with an infection, I was purging a lot of guilt and grief that my breakup had brought to the surface, I hardly left the house, I was...

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We are designed to be fucked by love

In relationships I have at times been avoidant AF. I would withdraw in the face of discomfort, incapable of communicating. I have also been anxious AF. I would demand attention and suffer because I’d never get it through my subtle or direct demands. I also have been...

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The Feminine, Trust and Sisterhood

Do you feel safe with and connected to the women around you? For a long time, I couldn’t trust women. I was a little scared of them. They felt so unpredictable, unreliable, unsafe… Then, about ten years ago I gathered my first women’s circle. Women of different ages,...

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Hacking jealousy

I used to consider myself a very jealous person. I also had a lot of shame about it. Wherever I would show up with my partner I would check out all the women and mark some of them with a thought of “danger”. I was constantly comparing myself to other women. And...

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Listening as a spiritual practice

No matter what you say, most people always receive your words through their own prism. If you are talking about your experience, they will be unavoidably comparing it to the experiences they’ve had. It’s coming from a beautiful place, I believe - from the place of...

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Love for the sake of loving

How can I love you from purity? How can I love you from presence? How can I love you from spaciousness? How can I love you without mixing in desire that’s boiling in my belly and burning me to ashes from within?... How can I love you without mixing in the need to be...

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Relaxed arousal

People tend to think that in order to feel pleasure we must create sensation through stimulation. Stimulation may vary: from playing with feathers to very rough handling of the genitals, watching porn and fantasising. I don’t recommend watching porn and using intense...

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How to make them want you

There are lots of strategies that you can learn to get the attention of someone you like. There are even so-called “pick up artists” that spend their entire lives mastering these kinds of tricks. You can take classes on how to become the most desirable person ever....

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When sex hurts

People commonly think that sex is all about pleasure, joy, ecstasy and orgasms. But most of us have experienced sex which was painful, sex during which we experienced burning and aching in the genitals and pelvis. Many people have also experienced sex which provoked...

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Are you scaring away your beloved?

I receive many emails from people (mostly women) asking how to attract a beloved. Maybe there is someone in your life that you want a deeper connection with. Or maybe you haven’t met this person yet, but you want to welcome him/her into your life. Some women end up...

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Sexploration

I find that it is quite important to have at least one phase in your life when you engage in lots of sexual experiments, either with lots of sexual partners or with one partner who is willing to really go for it with you. It’s a time to let yourself be naughty,...

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Are you pleasure dependent on a partner?

“Sexuality? It’s not for me, I’m single,” - a phrase I’ve heard dozens of times. This implies that this person believes that their sexual energy only gets activated when they have a partner. Meaning that it is the partner who activates them. If you think that way, I...

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Before you came

Before you came There were moments when I questioned whether the life I had chosen could accept you next to me, I questioned whether there was enough space for you... I questioned and dismissed everything I’d seen modelled in the world of relationships. I was calling...

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The perfectly fitting partner and the choice to love

In reality you will always find something about your partner that could have been better. Always. Most people keep searching for a better partner. A perfectly fitting partner… Of course we have values and we want someone who ticks the boxes. But that’s an automatic...

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The Key to Connection

When we encounter intense emotions or pain we tend to respond by closing. Closing can take various forms: Becoming very loud and overly-expressive, blasting other people with our emotions. Becoming cold and distant. Looking cool, as if nothing is happening, yet...

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Forever romantic

I have a confession to make. I don’t think I can ever stop being a romantic. I fall in love so hard. I’ve actually hurt myself because of that. In the past I used to derail completely for a phase, and made some awkward choices. At times I’ve questioned my sanity and...

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To the masculine

I want to ask you for forgiveness. I am sorry for all the times when I could not see you... I am sorry for all the times when I was too blind to be able to receive your love... I am sorry for all the times when I tried to change you, when I tried to make you...

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How to become a better lover?

Many people want to become better lovers. I remember how in my late teens I was googling things like: “how to have orgasms during sex”, and “how to give the best blowjob”. I thought these were the keys to being an amazing lover. What I came to realise is that the...

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The eternal beloved

For as long as I can remember myself, relationships have always been my "thing". Ever since I was five years old, my Barbies were getting married and having sex; I watched soap opera with my grandmother and my favourite stuff was always about relationships; my first...

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What makes unavailable people so attractive?

Many of us experienced falling in love with a pop star or someone famous when we were younger. Many are mysteriously drawn to those men or women who are married. Sometimes we fall in love with a person who for some specific reasons is not available to be there for us...

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Withdrawal/Neediness – the deadly duo

Some situations seem so complicated, it feels like there is no way out. Let’s say you are madly in love with someone, but they just don’t respond to you the same way... Or - you enjoy spending time with a person, but they demand a lot of attention from you, more than...

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